I have a secret....

I have a secret.....A secret that I've kept for 9 years. Sean and I were married in July 2007 and  soon after I got sick. In February 2008, I was diagnosed with a mental illness. I will always remember the first thing that went through my mind- my life is over. I remember telling the doctor I understood what he was saying and looking over at Sean and telling him it was ok to leave.  I'll always remember him holding my hand. He didn't leave and has been by my side every step since then.  I have kept this secret from most everyone for 9 years because I was scared. Scared of the unknown and scared of losing friendships. I have far more good days than bad days and for that I am grateful! I decided to start this blog with the support of Sean and my closest friends to share my life and my journey. I hope that by being transparent I can help others who may be suffering silently. I also fully understand that by sharing my secret their will be people who no longer want to be friends with me and that is ok. I've prayed for a long time for good to come from my struggles and I've asked God how that can happen and I always clearly hear to share. 1 in 6 people suffer from a mental illness. My doctor tells me it's as common as heart disease. Mental illness is no different than any other illness and shouldn't be treated any differently. I take medicine every day to be healthy just like a diabetic takes insulin to stay healthy. I've come a long way since February 2008. The doctor that diagnosed me told me I would have trouble being pregnant. I had two healthy pregnancies and two very healthy and happy children. People with a mental illness have trouble keeping a job and I was told to expect those issues. I will start my 16th year on August 1st at the only job I've ever had. I told myself shortly after I was diagnosed that I would not let this illness define me. I was determined to beat the odds and the expectations the world has of people with a mental illness.  I am very lucky because I have amazing medical professionals and a great support system who help me stay healthy. I have friends who know my struggles and hold my hand in the hard times and are the first ones to celebrate the good times. I decided to start a blog to share my thoughts of being an almost 40 year old married woman with two kids who also happens to have a mental illness. Now you see why I always say bekind. Most of you had no idea of my illness and most of you have always been kind to me.  Acts of kindness go a long way and make a lasting impact.  I want women to know its ok to not be perfect and it's ok to not have it all together. I've decided to share my secret to help others and make a difference. The world has such a bad stigma on people with a mental illness, and I hope by being transparent I can help break that!  I've had people ask me if having this illness makes me mad. I'm not mad. Don't get me wrong- if there was a cure I would be first in line to get it. I have finally come to terms that God chose me to walk this path and I have the power to bring good from it. I can inspire and empower other women who struggle like me but are still hanging on to their secret. So, now you know my secret and I hope my words provide hope and inspiration for you as they provide healing for me!

Many Blessing-
Susan


Job

Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 29, 2017 at 6:20 PM

    I am in awe how brave you are. Apparently, the only Susan I have ever known has a mental illness. That changes nothing for me. She is still sweet, kind and compassionate. Think about all the women you will help with your story.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A. ReedJuly 29, 2017 at 6:20 PM

    You are brave and awesome and I love you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. SusanJuly 29, 2017 at 6:31 PM

    Oh, Susan, I admire you greatly for your strength, courage and forthcoming. I'll always be your friend, cheering you on. This is a very braved thing to do and I'll be with you every step of the way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LyshaJuly 29, 2017 at 8:26 PM

    Wow! You are one of the kindest souls I've ever met. Every time I see you, you're smiling. I'm so glad we were at Emmaus together so we could be acquainted. Praying for you always, my sister. -Lysha

    ReplyDelete
  5. Joy CollinsJuly 29, 2017 at 8:38 PM

    I attended a huge youth conference this weekend, and one thing that was said was, "Your weakness is your weapon." Another was, "The devil's greatest fear is your God given potential." You, sweet Susan, are a living testament to this. You have found the strength to use your weakness as a weapon against the devil. Through your story and you living out your God given potential, you are going to help so many others. I am proud to be your friend!!

    ReplyDelete

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