New Year, New Attitude

I was so happy to see January 1, 2018! 2017 was the hardest year for our family. So with a new year comes a new attitude! This year will be one of gratitude. Whatever comes my way, I want to face it with gratitude! Next week marks 10 years that Sean and I were sitting in the doctor's office hearing my diagnosis. 10 years seems so long but I remember everything about that day like it was just yesterday!  I have had several people ask me in the past few months how I knew something was wrong. I felt different but it wasn't a physical pain. My doctor ruled out all physical problems and then a psychologist gave me a test. I remember reading through the test before I answered anything. I knew what the "right" answers were that would get me the diagnosis of nothing is wrong go home, but I knew the answers that needed to be given because I wanted a better life and a better marriage. So, I answered everyone of them truthfully and left with an answer. I was very scared at first but I remember feeling relieved because it is treatable and I finally had a diagnosis. I made a commitment 10 years ago to get well so one day my suffering would count for something. I never imagined 10 years later that I would be blogging about my mental illness for the world to see, or planning a 5K to raise money for East Alabama Mental Health.  There is strength in being vulnerable, and the past 6 months have shown me how strong I am.  So, as I approach my 10 year mark I approach it with gratitude. I am grateful for my family who never leaves my side and knows me so well. I am grateful for friendships that have grown and deepened over the past 10 years. I am grateful for my doctors who listen to me when I say I don't feel right and never make me feel like a burden. I am grateful for modern medicine because I am fully aware that it is what makes me healthy.  People still tell me how sorry they are that I have this. Please don't be sorry! Everyone has a cross to bear, and my hope is to change the way people look at mental illness and that one day no one suffers in silence.  The past 10 years have had twists and turns and ups and downs,  but it has all been worth it because now I have the honor to share my story to help others!  I enter 2018 with gratitude. Gratitude that a scary diagnosis 10 years ago has turned out to be such a big platform and blessing for me!

Thanks to those who are still following!

Much love and many blessings!
Susan

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