Postive vs. Negative
I have lived with mental illness for 9 1/2 years. I spent the first few years very negative and very angry. I didn't think things would ever get any better, and to be honest I questioned why I was the one to struggle with this. Why me? I soon realized that my negative attitude was making my illness worse. Once again, I asked Why me? I was quickly told why not you? Mental illness effects 1 in 6 people, and it does not stereotype. It effects people of all backgrounds, socioeconomic statuses, races, shapes, sizes and appearances. It effects more people than not, so why not me? As soon as I accepted my illness and the support that was given to me is when I started to realize that this could turn into something positive. The way I handle my illness is just like the way you handle life. So many times throughout life, people are thrown a curve ball to their well thought out plans, a door is closed that you thought would remain open, or you may even experience an illness or death of a family member or friend. Life promises us challenges. We choose how we deal with them. It is that way with my illness. God knew the day I was born that in February of 2008 at 30 years old and 7 months married I would be diagnosed with a mental illness and my family would face challenges. That was a fact. How we handled them was our choice. To be honest, in the beginning I help many pity parties and was angry. My family quickly told me that none of that was going to make this go away, it was only going to make it worse. So, I changed my outlook to count my blessing and look at this illness through a positive lense. So, what I am thankful for since I have been diagnosed with a mental illness? I am thankful for Sean. He has never waivered or left my side. I can count on one hand the number of doctors appointments he has missed. He is usually at everyone asking questions. He know as much about mental illness as I do because he has researched and read about it. I am thankful for our families who are always there to help out and support us and our decisions about my health fully. People who suffer from a mental illness needs support, but they also do not need to be treated differently. My family has never treated me differently. If I make a mistake, they let me know. If I do something good, they let me know. They never give me a free pass because of my illness. I am thankful that I am able to see the best doctors out there to get the best help I can get. Sean and my family all thought it was time I got a second opinion on my medications and overall health, so my sister, who is a nurse anesthesia, in Birmingham, found a specialist who I see on August 25th. She will do genetic testing on me and be able to give me a firm diagnosis as well as tell me based on genetics and my rate of metabolism which medicines are most effective and which ones are not. So, I am thankful for my sister who has connections in the medical field, and I am thankful that as a new patient I get to see this new doctor so quickly. God opens doors when we need them the most. 2017 has been a hard year, but I only waited 4 weeks to see a top specialist in Birmingham who help me go into remission! The doctor's office is only 2 miles from my sister's house as well, so God knew all along I was going to see this doctor and he we ahead and laid the plans out to make it as easy as possible for me and Sean. He does write the best stories!
Life is all about how to choose to handle the good and the bad. It is easy to handle the good things. Your true integrity and character shows how you handle the bad circumstances. This is all a part of why I shared my story. I could have kept my struggles a secret forever, and it would have been just fine. By doing that, I would not be dealing with the negative very well. I shared my story to show that even though I was diagnosed with a mental illness 9 years ago, a lot of positive things have happened since then. I am more accepting of others, I am kinder, I love harder, I forgive quicker, I am more patient, but most of all I celebrate all victories, whether big or small. We celebrate everything at our house, and we usually celebrate with family and friends. Even with struggles and my illness, life is really good, and I want others who suffer silently to know that life can be good for them too!
Life is never going to be perfect for me, but it is never going to be perfect for anyone. I made a choice to look at the positive to get through life instead of the negative. Don't get me wrong, there are times my mind wanders to the negative and I can get consumed in it. When I do, I sit down and think of the positives and focus my energy of the things I can control. When I get consumed in the negative, I am reminded of Philippians 4:8- "Whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable- if anything is excellent of praiseworthy-think about such things." The good in my life far outweighs the bad. I have learned in a week and a half that there are people in my life who are my friends just to have another friend. Then there are people in my life who are my friends who want to support one another, pray for one another and encourage one another. I have learned to tune out the negative and turn towards the positive.
It has been a week and a half and I am still overwhelmed by the number of people who have shown support for me. It has been such a joy to share my story with you. I hope when my children are older, they can read my blog and see how their mama shared the hardest part of her life with others to make a difference, and see how she fought the good fight and never gave up. We were at church Sunday, and my mom, Calleigh and I were together taking communion. My friend, who is also a minister at the church, got to me to serve me communion. Before she gave me the elements, she reached down and grabbed my hand and told me how brave I was and how proud she was of me. I smiled at her and she continued down the aisle. I looked over and my mama was crying and Calleigh said mama the minister called you brave. I don't consider myself brave at all. I consider myself an everyday woman with a husband, 2 kids, a turtle, lots of cows, and a good job just trying to break barriers and help other women who are suffering in silence. I have spent years praying to God to use my life and my struggles for a purpose. I have told my family for years that one day I am going to share my story and my struggles to make a difference in someone else's life. I was determined that good was going to come from my suffering. God answered that prayer through the encouragement from Sean, my family and several friends to hit publish and start this blog. God doesn't intend for us to struggle alone. Everyone's struggles, no matter what they are, have a purpose. That purpose can be used to inspire and encourage others. If you have a friend or loved one who is suffering from mental illness, please share my blog with them. I would love for them to read my story and reach out to me if they would like. I am thankful I don't walk through this life alone. I am grateful I have new friends who have shared their struggles with me and I have like minded people to go on this journey with me! God never intended us to walk through our struggles alone. He intended on us to walk through it with Him, our family and our true friends!
Much love,
Susan
Life is all about how to choose to handle the good and the bad. It is easy to handle the good things. Your true integrity and character shows how you handle the bad circumstances. This is all a part of why I shared my story. I could have kept my struggles a secret forever, and it would have been just fine. By doing that, I would not be dealing with the negative very well. I shared my story to show that even though I was diagnosed with a mental illness 9 years ago, a lot of positive things have happened since then. I am more accepting of others, I am kinder, I love harder, I forgive quicker, I am more patient, but most of all I celebrate all victories, whether big or small. We celebrate everything at our house, and we usually celebrate with family and friends. Even with struggles and my illness, life is really good, and I want others who suffer silently to know that life can be good for them too!
Life is never going to be perfect for me, but it is never going to be perfect for anyone. I made a choice to look at the positive to get through life instead of the negative. Don't get me wrong, there are times my mind wanders to the negative and I can get consumed in it. When I do, I sit down and think of the positives and focus my energy of the things I can control. When I get consumed in the negative, I am reminded of Philippians 4:8- "Whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable- if anything is excellent of praiseworthy-think about such things." The good in my life far outweighs the bad. I have learned in a week and a half that there are people in my life who are my friends just to have another friend. Then there are people in my life who are my friends who want to support one another, pray for one another and encourage one another. I have learned to tune out the negative and turn towards the positive.
It has been a week and a half and I am still overwhelmed by the number of people who have shown support for me. It has been such a joy to share my story with you. I hope when my children are older, they can read my blog and see how their mama shared the hardest part of her life with others to make a difference, and see how she fought the good fight and never gave up. We were at church Sunday, and my mom, Calleigh and I were together taking communion. My friend, who is also a minister at the church, got to me to serve me communion. Before she gave me the elements, she reached down and grabbed my hand and told me how brave I was and how proud she was of me. I smiled at her and she continued down the aisle. I looked over and my mama was crying and Calleigh said mama the minister called you brave. I don't consider myself brave at all. I consider myself an everyday woman with a husband, 2 kids, a turtle, lots of cows, and a good job just trying to break barriers and help other women who are suffering in silence. I have spent years praying to God to use my life and my struggles for a purpose. I have told my family for years that one day I am going to share my story and my struggles to make a difference in someone else's life. I was determined that good was going to come from my suffering. God answered that prayer through the encouragement from Sean, my family and several friends to hit publish and start this blog. God doesn't intend for us to struggle alone. Everyone's struggles, no matter what they are, have a purpose. That purpose can be used to inspire and encourage others. If you have a friend or loved one who is suffering from mental illness, please share my blog with them. I would love for them to read my story and reach out to me if they would like. I am thankful I don't walk through this life alone. I am grateful I have new friends who have shared their struggles with me and I have like minded people to go on this journey with me! God never intended us to walk through our struggles alone. He intended on us to walk through it with Him, our family and our true friends!
Much love,
Susan
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