A View Through A Different Window

Back in February, my dear friend, Bradley, called me about starting a non-profit for her Forward and Up campaign. The vision of Forward and Up is empower and support women in our community by sharing stories and changing hearts. Bradley was planning a launch party for the non-profit and asked me to share my story. Today, in front of a backyard full of women, most who I had never met, I shared my story, my heart and my hope.  It's the first time I have stood in front of a group of women and talked about my illness. Last night, I called Bradley and said I didn't think I could do it. Sean has been at the Master's all weekend and I called him and told him I wasn't doing it. I even told my best friend, Leslie, who drove 4 hours to be there with me that I couldn't do it. Everyone's response was the same- yes you can.  As soon as I got in front of those women, I knew I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Bradley asked me to talk about why I feel it is important

I'll be honest.....I have been a little discouraged lately.  I have wondered many times if this blog and my story were worth being told.  Was it better just to keep it safe with just me, my family and closest friends?  I knew that opening my heart and sharing my story would come with changes, I just wasn't expecting some of what I have seen. I promise you that unfortunately, people are not always what they seem.   I really second guessed my decision to open up and share my struggles, and at one point wished I could take it all back.  I was just about to quit blogging and telling my story when within a week  God opened my eyes, not once but twice. I have a dear friend who is more like family. We have been together through college, weddings and babies.  She is starting a non-profit organization to help women empower and encourage other women.  She is having a kick off event in April, and she asked me to share my story with the women in attendance.  Me!!   I am so honored that s

10 years ago yesterday, I sat in a doctor's office with my husband of six months and listened to a doctor tell me what I already knew in my heart. 1 in 5 people in the US suffer from a mental illness and I have been part of that 1 in 5.  This is not something I would have had the courage to say a year ago.  Sometimes unfortunate events let you know that your story needs to be shared. I remember where I sat as I wrote my first post on this blog telling everyone about my struggles. I remember showing the post to Sean before I hit publish and he told me he thought I needed to share it.  A lot has happened in 10 years. I am stronger and more determined. Determined to educate people about an illness that is as common as heart disease and stronger to fight for those who still suffer in silence.  I don't want to be another statistic or just another patient who is written off in our poor mental health system. I want my struggles to have a purpose!  10 years after my diagnosis, I have r

I was so happy to see January 1, 2018! 2017 was the hardest year for our family. So with a new year comes a new attitude! This year will be one of gratitude. Whatever comes my way, I want to face it with gratitude! Next week marks 10 years that Sean and I were sitting in the doctor's office hearing my diagnosis. 10 years seems so long but I remember everything about that day like it was just yesterday!  I have had several people ask me in the past few months how I knew something was wrong. I felt different but it wasn't a physical pain. My doctor ruled out all physical problems and then a psychologist gave me a test. I remember reading through the test before I answered anything. I knew what the "right" answers were that would get me the diagnosis of nothing is wrong go home, but I knew the answers that needed to be given because I wanted a better life and a better marriage. So, I answered everyone of them truthfully and left with an answer. I was very scared at first

Everyone's well intended words.....just snap out of it. It's not that easy, and if it was no one would suffer from a mental illness. The last words you say to someone who is struggling is just snap out of it!  There have been many things over the past few months that have made me want to pull the covers over my head and call it a day before 8:00 am.  Life is hard for everyone whether they want to admit it or not. Everyone struggles and life isn't perfect.  I've been reminded of this in sad ways the past month. In the book we read in small group, we read about gratitude. About being specific with our gratitude,  being grateful in good times and in bad times.  I truly believe we are better equipped to handle the small problems when we face the bigger problems with a sense of gratitude. There is always something to be thankful for.  Some of the hardest times for me are when I am struggling and I tend to get in the mindframe of why me? Enough is enough or I'm not strong

Is it me, or whenever something bad happens people are quick to tell you that it is part of God's will and God will never give you more than you can handle. I do not believe that God wills bad things to happen to us. I believe bad things happen and it is God's will for us to rise up and lean on Him and trust him in the hard times. Nowhere in the bible does it say God will never give you more than you can handle. In 2017 my family has been given more than we can handle.  We have experienced life, death, happiness, fear, tragedy and triumph. Throw in a new business for Sean and an unusual year for me at work and we have experienced it all!  The one thing Sean and I have been is true to ourselves. What you saw with us on any given day is what you got- the good, the bad, the happy the sad. We have never pretended to be something we are not. I've been very transparent the past three months with my life with mental illness. My transparency and openness came with a price. I have f